1. Who, Why, What
Who: racksterly.co is maintained by Medaecon (“Racksterly”). At times Racksterly may also be referred to as “we”, “us”, or “racksterly.co”. The person who is viewing or interacting with this site we will refer to as “you”, “hey you”, or where appropriate “jerkface” (only if you’re being bad).
Why: This Terms of Service Agreement (“Agreement”) is our contract with you, and tells you what you can and can’t do and what we can and can’t do with you.
What: Racksterly is an online sharing platform. We make $$$$$ by: (1) connecting businesses and causes with the people who care about and support them; (2) charging businesses to broadcast themselves to the world. If you’re joining us, you will pay for your subscription when payment is due. Since we wear the pants around here, its up to us whether we’ll accept your membership or not and we may reject you, especially for being spammy…so try again.
2. Very Bad Things That You Cannot Do
Don’t give us viruses or try and hack your way into our computers;
Don’t be a robot. Robots are evil. That means don’t use auto posters that are meant to leave things like “You site has great informashuns! Thank you! Best content 2019! I my wife tell me about your site, I say I no believe but she write…you best Site!” with anchor text to your crappy site about “Best Dog Fashion Trends”. Seriously…don’t.
Don’t be a jerkface. A jerkface is someone who discriminates, defrauds, hates, or acts like an idiot. Don’t do any of that. We’ll ban you.
Don’t use content (images,video, etc.) that you’re not supposed to or don’t have permission for.
Don’t do other things that we don’t like, which is up to us.
If you follow the rules, you can stay. If you don’t, we can kick you out, haul your ass to court, or tell the Alphabet boys what you’ve done so they’ll put you under surveillance. Our failure to enforce against one person is not a waiver to enforce our rights at any time for the same or different offenses.
3. Intellectual Property
Don’t steal our stuff. By stuff, we mean the awesome text, pictures, videos, sounds (ummm, not sure what kind of sounds we’ll make…but you can be sure you can’t have them without our permission) (altogether known as “Content”). So our Content is protected by all the freaking laws you can think of. Seriously. This includes Nigeria Copyright Law ( Section (weirdsquigglythinginsertedhere) 107). This means don’t use it, think of using it, or even stare at it with the intention of doing something we didn’t give you permission to do.
If you’re putting content on our site, you’re pinky swearing that it’s yours or you have permission to use it in the way you’re using it. Violations of other people’s “stuff” is not taken lightly here at Racksterly, as we don’t like it when people jack our "stuff". So if you jack someone else’s and try and pass it off to us like “oh hey bro, it’s cool you can totally use this” then you’re going to pay for anything bad that happens to us, our employees or family pets.
4. Responsibilities And You-Break-It-You-Buy-It
Racksterly may allow you to post artefacts and/or ads. You agree you will only post in accordance to this Agreement, and agree to remain responsible for anything that you post. By posting your content you’re giving us the right to use that content via a license to use it how we please. Seriously, we can take your content and hack the crap out of it, spin it, and even make money off of it for ourselves and our network of users without paying you a dime. And really, since it's an ad, why would we? We’ll send you a fruit basket though…maybe…actually probably not. This “license” is not revocable and goes on forever and ever and ever and ever. But wait, there’s more. If anything bad happens because of something you submit, you agree to pay us, our legal bills, or other bills that may result because of what you submit.
5. U Mad? Gonna Lawyer Up Bro?
We have lawyers. A whole team of them that are ready to knife fight on a whim, but we’d rather resolve issues like gentlemen. So if you have a problem you will first come to us and tell us about this problem. We may talk about this problem for awhile, and if neither side is happy with the result then we can duke it out in Court. The Court must be in Nigeria, and will be decided based on Nigerian law. Any law that applies or controls this contract is Nigerian law. YEA DAWG, that’s right, you just got hometurfed broseph. But you’re agreeing to this hometurf being Nigeria because we have to have one universal location to resolve disputes in. Oh, and the winner of any dispute or lawsuit is entitled to have their attorneys’ fees and costs paid for by the loser.
6. Survival Of The Dead..Agreement
Sometimes, people mutually agree to stuff that courts just won’t uphold. That shouldn’t affect the intent of our contract, though, so you agree that if a judge declares a portion of these Terms of Service of no effect, the rest of the Terms of Service will stay in effect as much as is still possible without the part that the judge struck down.
7. Third-Party Sharing
Our site may have links to third party websites that we have no control over, such as YouTube, Vimeo, Facebook, and MySpace (seriously...who uses myspace anymore?) and websites for businesses on our platform. We have no responsibility over this content (although if those companies want to give us free shares in their company we’re cool with that) and therefore you have to take up any problems you have with those sites with their owners. Leave us out of it.
8. Loud Noises
WE HAVE TO USE CAPS LOCK FOR THIS SECTION BECAUSE SOME DEAD GUY 100 YEARS AGO PROBABLY SAID IF WE DON’T THEN IT DOESN’T COUNT. SO WE CAN’T GUARANTEE THAT OUR SITE WON’T BREAK YOUR COMPUTER OR THAT YOU’LL FIND IT AMUSING OR THAT IT WILL HELP YOU MAKE MONEY. WE TRY OUR BEST, BUT THAT’S ALL YOU GET JUST LIKE WHEN YOU BUY SOMETHING AT A RANDOM GARAGE SALE…YOU’RE BUYING IT “AS IS” EVEN IF IT BLOWS UP OR FRIES YOUR BRAIN. SO EVEN IF SOMETHING TERRIBLE AND CATASTROPHIC HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU VIEWED OUR SITE, YOU CAN’T SUE US, OR ANYONE THAT IS CONNECTED WITH US. WE’RE DISCLAIMING ALL WARRANTIES AND LIABILITY FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING, WHETHER OR NOT WE KNEW OR SHOULD HAVE BEEN PSYCHIC AND KNOWN.
8. Misc. Things
IF YOU’RE FROM A FOREIGN COUNTRY, WELCOME..GUTENTAG, NEI HO, BONJOUR, JAMBO, HOLA……we’re going to be transferring your information from your country to ours, so you’re ok with us transferring this information by virtue of having visited and used our site. Unless you’re from Germany, then…well…let us know and we’ll figure out what to do with you. Headings to these sections are meant to be for entertainment purposes only and have no binding effect. We can transfer our rights and obligations in this agreement whenever we want. Just because we don’t put someone in a burlap sack and beat them with a sock full of coins for violating any section of this Agreement doesn’t mean we’re waiving our right to enforce our Agreement, it just means we’re cutting someone some slack. It doesn’t mean we’ll do the same for you or anyone else. Too bad, we do what we want because we’re the honey badgers of online sharing. Follow the law and don’t be a jerkface.